Dad - Pittsburgh Yellow

Below is a poem I wrote for college literature in the spring of 2024.

 

Dad- Pittsburgh Yellow by Joleigh June

Your face is familiar, a sight I've seen almost daily since day one

I know it's you when I see your black penguin's jacket or your green winter coat

You have worn, callused hands that I grasped from the backseat when I was young

Your presence in my life is as immovable as a mountain

We didn't use to get along, in fact we used to have it all wrong, a mistrust rooted in pain and paranoia we fought one another

But now we have peace again, at last

I know it's you when I feel your flannels against my neck

I wish, I hope that you know I always love you, no matter what

Dad, I know you can't have favorites, but you'll have always loved me longer

You hate our fragrant perfumes in colorful bottles, but you put up with it because that's what love is

Your love is a lighthouse in my darkness

Love is doing things you don't like for the people you love!

Always and forever my dad you'll be

 

When I read this poem now, it brings tears to my eyes. When I wrote this I still lived at home, but that is no longer true. An unexpected part of moving out was how deeply and painfully I would miss my dad. As the poem touches on, at one point in my life my dad and I did not have a good relationship. Now, however, we do, surprisingly even more so now that I've moved out. The distance seems to have made us closer, made me appreciate him more. 

Since I've moved out my dad has been my rock. For one, he has been endlessly helpful with all of my car woes. From struts, to tires, to ignition control modules and so much more he has been wise, helpful, and generous. I would've been helpless so many times if he hadn't always picked up the phone and problem solved with me. He has also been the biggest support and sounding board through all of my emotional and social struggles. To be honest, life has been really kicking a girl these last few months and I truly don't know where I'd be without him always having my back. His texts and phone calls have been the most vital love. 

I'm not really sure what the point of this blog is if nothing other than a moment of appreciation for my dad. A moment to say- I love you and the world should know.

My dad, Tom as we lovingly call him, is smart. He is the most intelligent person I have ever met. I'm as smart and attentive and aware/conscious as I am because he raised me to be a critical thinker and observer. He might not always have the answers but he does always have some semblance of advice. He tries his best to support me the way that I need, which can be hard because he's so logical and I'm so emotional. My dad is incredibly brave. He faces situations with so much strength and determination. My dad is good. He is at his core, an amazing human being. His goodness is reflected in me. He raised me to do my best to show love to others, to not be ignorant or hateful, to have compassion and understanding, and to do the right thing. My dad is a very good driver and possibly the only person I really fully trust to drive me anywhere. I've often found myself this winter wishing I had my dad with me to drive instead. My dad works hard everyday to provide for the people he loves and to be as helpful as he can be. He works hard to achieve what he wants. He also works hard to step out of his comfort zone when needed. My dad is who I aspire to be like. I admire him greatly and look up to him so much.

I love him and I am so thankful for him. I hope everyone has a Tom in their lives, but if not I'll happily share snippets of him and his wisdom with you, because he really is so smart and inspiring and wise. 

I love my dad and I hope he knows it and feels it. I can't wait to see him again tomorrow. Remember to appreciate the ones who love you best. Moving out has been a brutal awakening to how much of life I didn't appreciate enough, and I regret not spending more time with my dad when I had the chance.

Stay strong and stay full of love and appreciation for the good.

Joleigh Junie